today eye had lunch at Rez Rock Cafe
eye had the only thing on the menu
that eye can eat there--tuna salad sandwich
it used to be better, but it got lame...
*SIGH*
eye need to walk another 2K steps before midnight
eye rode my bike home in the rain
eye enjoyed it, except for the bridge
the New Mexico state guys are doing repairs
eye got nervous, but fortunately no one ran me over
by the way... that is my eye!

Congratulations My Friend
by t. zoEy benally

Congratulations my friend on your graduation today
It was thrilling to watch
You lean into the red tape stretched
Across the bureaucracy threshold
As I watched I felt smooth heart muscles pinch
Pain crawled up my throat
It used hyaline cartilage ridges as foot and hand holds
Shoving dirty fingernails into pink epithelia
Liquid from my heart was diverted
To tear ducts, and heavy weights
Were applied to my smile corners
And I swear that this is how it feels
When your heart is broken
Another friend later confirmed this--
He once felt the same way about a stripper
 
Congratulations my friend, even though
I really wanted to run and bury my face
In my hands and let the plasma run
I knew I must stand witness
So I scrawled notes in my notebook
Letters leaned left and right
As if repulsed to find themselves
In the same sentence
Normally they push anxiously forward
Strain to get everything out
So we can all get to work
And save our little corner of the world
I planted my feet, squared my shoulders
I knew I must keep myself there
To watch and listen, so that I could remember
Because history always repeats itself
 
Congratulations my friend
My ears ache now from bleated
Squeak stanzas squeezed from unbalanced
Merry-go-rounds and Ferris wheels
I cringe at the screamed ultrasonic terror
Of salted slugs, and their shivered suffering
Turgor pressure drop, flaccid cell flop
And I remember two conversations--
How if they had not occurred
I might be able cheer
Along with everyone else
Congratulations my friend
I feel like Steven Jobs
To your Bill Gates
I feel robbed of opportunity
All because of one letter

was blind, but now i see...
by t. zoEy benally

you follow in the footsteps of Santa
lumber calmly down moonlit path, away,
dew coated pebbles bounce reflected sunlight,
sent on your way because i no longer
believe in you.

your fairy dust sparkles continue
to fade, plastic coat scuffed, scratched
dim the amount of glitter that ricochets
energy three hundred thousand
kilometers per second because you
cannot deliver.

i believed you when i was young
believed that things would be better
that we would make a difference,
go places, make changes, have fun
i believed and followed with blind eyes
wide, hands and wallet open.

but now the thick crust i thought
was love has peeled from my eyes,
dessicated bacteria and white blood cells
suspended in plasma, shriveled red blood
cells, congregated on vitamin K lattice work
and i see what was really going on.

weekend away
by t. zoEy benally

we disappeared into the garish depths
of the glittering world this weekend
waded-in the shallow end by Sandia Star
held our noses, wet our sweltering heads
predicted to be permanently overheated
lips parched and cracked by inaugural
greenhouse conditions, hatched in our
small desert, unwelcome visitor imposed

we continually pay for the televised world
so it's only fair that we be allowed in
mustard layers billowed out of ash stacks
under fluffy white emission disguise
ocher air, brimming with ozone, but not
the kind that would patch the hole
over antarctica or the rain forests
another people that pay for shiny lights

we wandered the malls, checked out excess
marked down, 75% off, unsold piles
of Christmas decorations, ornaments
dug from our hillsides, sucked from our land
hydrogen sulfide gas released, pooling
around hogans, corrals, dense black
poison earth flatulence, vented
excess cooled and washed with our water

we drove streets and admired houses
where families "do their part" in hopes of
"saving the earth," plastic containers sorted
cardboard allegedly recycled, relieving
them of guilt so they can swim Wal-mart
parking lots, silently tail pedestrians back to
their vehicles, dorsal fin poised prepared to attack
and claim a really close parking spot

we disappeared this weekend, watched television
took showers, flushed the toilet, washed our hands
and faces without leaving the warm hotel room
the floor was carpeted, no gritty sand duned along
window sills, a faux grass mat welcomed us

we disappeared for a weekend, but we are back
hooked up, rubber needles sunk again
into our arms, eternal plasma donors
funding the glittering world with our father,
mother, imprisoned by the gambler, pleasant
in his white marble pueblo in the east
oh, and he sent email while we were gone
to let us know he cut our medical care by 33%

where ever you are now--stay there
by t. zoEy benally

where ever you are now--stay there
eyes awash in liquid crystal display glow
stay, and answer that phone call like you always do
chatter happily with important colleagues
continue networking, power elbow rubs
stay, and pass a little more judgment on so called
team members, relax, gossip, plot, scheme and breathe

whatever you are now doing--keep at it
recklessly drive, speed, 70 MPH, your important
self toward that urgent email box, spewing
alerts like so much volcanic lava and ash
dial that cellphone, shift your eyes from the road
half mile inattention increments for each number
don't let my passing alter your activities

if you didn't give me petals from your heart
bouquets from your mind and soul
precious jewel minutes, intact, unfractured
if i wasn't important enough to merit
an answer to my emails, messages, questions
then keep your cheap plastic flowers
selfish tears, filled with your secret minerals

i am not needed where you are now
so when i am gone, remain there
continue to perch, vulture, on dried juniper
do not circle my empty corpse
once it has been abandoned by this spirit
my ebullient intellect, ideas, creativity, that you fear
stay in your tree, head hooked over pebble heart

i will have no need for your tardy tears
will not appreciate embellished stories
of times we never spent together, shared
i will not even acknowledge ATP expended
body moisture lost after i am dead
so where ever you are now, while i am here
stay there, when i am dead

cardboard
by t. zoey benally

indian designs traverse box edges
sweet dust puffs from frayed corners
brown fibers possess boiled grits flavor
and when you tear taped seams, hollow
sounds vibrate through this conglomeration
of ninety degree angles

rant
by t. zoEy benally

i just carried a box full of records
2 miles from the post office
home in the rain, semis throwing
small chunks of mud at me

i watched my significant other zip past
one mile from home, and i knew
deep in the aching muscles
of my shoulders, forearms, biceps
tired hand tendons, no relief
that i am no more obvious to him
than a mangy stray dog
and these are HIS records!

and before that, i exchanged emails
with an instructor that scheduled
THE MOST IMPORTANT CLASS
the same day we are performing
at Sparrows Poetry Festival
despite my having informed him,
links included, several weeks before

i can see the wimpy dominoes
crashing into each other in a massive
tsunami that will wash all my work
towards graduating in May
down towards life's floor drain
where it will swirl, gathering
lost pubic hairs, dried snot
and swallow down crusted pipes
i will lose elective credits
my University of Michigan biostatistics
credits will expire, and i will end up
driving back and forth to ABQ
to retake these units, increasing
my risk of being taken out
by a glaanii, speeder
or sleepy person
on NM 550...

...and i type this trying to beat the clock
trying to slip under the wire
of the scheduled blogger outage
at 4PM PST!

one word: click
by t. zoEy benally

ninety degrees of metal bites 90 degree metal
silver teeth slide and click, crystal structure shock
corners pinch together, cubist shoulders rub
descend right angle staircases, 11 by seven

one word: pane
by t. zoEy benally

green bottles, brown bottles, clear bottles
recline atop rough cedar tree shade house beams
no doubt chopped, axe nibble, round and round
hands blistered, dribbled sweat burned eyes
now sun shines through improvised skylight
red and amber bottle pane watercolors
tortillas, roast mutton, chili, soda pop and salt

it's freaky that this word came back up on oneword again! fortunately i wrote something totally different than before.

sand under the guardrail
washed down from the hill
presumably headed to the river
small, dirty beach pooled
on concrete at the bridge edge
little pebbles and sticks lounge
no ocean waves lap, no wetness
for the pile of sand trapped
under the guardrail