Roadrunner & Coyote
(Written 2010 1006)

What is the name of the road runner,
The one on Looney Tunes
That one…
From Saturday morning cartoons,
Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon equivalent,
Back in the day
When NBC, CBS, and ABC
Came hopping into our homes
Through analog rabbit ears
Poking up from vacuum tube televisions
That one…
Purple head
Matching Vegas showgirl
Cabaret feathered headpiece
And flightless Tyrannosaurus rex wings
Periwinkle blue body, orange beak, and legs…
Legs that stretch out all the way
From Chicago,
Through Saint Louie,
OK-C
Amarillo
Alba-Koi-Key
(site of the ill-fated left turn)
Winslow
(site of the historic corner)
And on to Los Angeles
You know EXACTLY which road runner I’m talking about

For me the name of that road runner is “Mu”
I am Wile E. Coyote
And on my business card
Below my name
“Super Genius”
And true to cartoon physics
I am fanatical
Forever chasing the mean
Self-imposed quarantine
Typhoid Mary of
The Mother Highway
That held the hands of other coyotes
And ushered her yellow eyed offspring
Out of the Dust Bowl
Led them gritty eyed
Eyelashes and ear turns
Frosted with pulverized earth
Led them west to California
Bits and pieces abandoned
Baby dolls, mattresses, a chair here
Pots, spare tire, pans
A chair there, kerosene lamp, pawned heirloom ring
In exchange for a clean bed, slice of pie
Gallon of leaded gasoline
Hot cup of coffee, cream and sugar
In towns like Foss, Wildorado, Thoreau, Two Guns
Towns not mentioned in song
Led them to where their eyes
Would match the setting sun
And true to fanaticism
I have lost my aim
But continue to redouble efforts
In search of that elusive mean
Coated in synovial fluid
And armed to the teeth
With cheerful, Beep, Beep—ZOOM!-s

Anvils, Birdseed, Grenades, Spears
Rockets, Mouse traps, Rope
Giant magnets, Suction cups, vitamins
Sledge hammers, Giant springs
TNT, Black & White Paint for Targets
DIY Kits for Bombs, Giant Magnets
Huge Rubber-bands, Flight suits, Pulleys
How to Books, Cannons, Ammo, Wrecking Balls
All manner of swag purchased
Via US Postal Service mail
Delivered General Delivery into the desert
From A Company that Makes Everything—ACME!
Configured into elaborate Rube Goldberg devices
Exploiting the hell out of simple machines
Blue print plans drafted out on vellum in India ink
Incorporating deadly levers
Diabolical pulleys
Sinister Inclines
In the privacy of a sandstone cave

But in the end
Arms outstretched, fingers grasping
I am never allowed to catch that road runner
Legs flailing, trying to speed up
Defeated by my own ineptitude and gravity
I continually fall into the sandstone abyss
Crushed by boulders
Insignificant puff of dust
Humiliated Super Genius shaped hole
Stamped on the canyon floor