breakfast
by t. zoEy benally

if i could travel to Scottsdale in 30 minutes
i would devour a Protein Pancake
sit on cool blonde wood benches, elbows
rested on sanitized matching rectangle
pour water and tea out of sweaty carafes
stir in aspartame, sucralose, saccharin
or maybe even a packet of sugar

i would need someone to talk to
i enjoy laughter, drizzled over breakfast
brand new ideas shaken out of brains
Tabasco red flecks on eggs, hash-browns
humorous stories embellished and shared
over crunched ice, partially melted best
a brave soul unafraid of dewy morning sun

if i could talk a friend out of warm bed, into
icy cold car, onto frost lined roads
convince a friend to waste gasoline
i would be gone, disappeared to Denny's
and this time i would order a veggie omelet
i promise i would give them time to wake up
hold back my best ideas until caffeine kicks in

i would like to savor tea over dreams
with the most avid dreamers, watch them
pour cream out of tiny white plastic drums
listen to bizarre tales from night journeys
to other realities, dimensions, realms, planes
butter melted into toast, or jam pried from
square tubs, smeared into rough bread landscape

one word: pane
by t. zoEy benally

water drops crusted across
a thin silicone pane
green bug gut smeared
from injury to demise
fairy spinkles dragged by winds
my only protection from
insect protein and rain water

it's been a long month-and-a-half
by t. zoey benally

i had one super productive week right after the fair
when i look back at that week in my calendar, warm fuzzies
swarm up from the depths of my normally cold, dark heart
not really--my heart is really just a muscle bent on pumping blood
but i did get a lot done that week, resting heart rate 65 BPM

soon after this it started getting cold, but i continued to read
Salvato, the environmental health specialist bee-eye-bee-el-E
yep, that's the book to read when you need to know about everything
from Plasmodium vivax to flushometer valves to oligotrophic lakes
faithfully transported in my red Jansport, four miles each day

it was soon after the night temperature drop that i developed
my very first UTI, i dutifully ignored the symptoms and downed
cranberry juice along with my normal Surgeon General recommended
sixty-four ounces of tincture o' swirling dog, hoping that it would
just go away--but bacteria will not be ignored

i dropped significant other off at San Juan College that Saturday
the kids and i split for swimming and sushi in Durango
we swam for hours, writing messages in mineral bubbles congregated
on our arms and legs, stewed with friendly folks speaking German
the kids taught me to side stroke, i swam two pool lenghts and back

after eating sushi, we were summoned back to New Mexico, somewhere,
sometime i noticed a fine scratch feeling, behind my left ear in my hair
again i ignored the scratch feeling, i collected my best friend
and we went to watch a movie, i also watching him drink soda
while sipping my two dollar bottled water, no soda since May

Wedensday, five days after Durango, i woke up and trekked four thousands
steps southwest across Shiprock to work next to a capped tailings pile
10AM my back felt like it was going to break in half, i had to hold my breath
to keep tension, to keep muscles from collapse, my body from folding
in half, a dry deteriorating straw, cracks on fold corners, holes, useless

i survived, 103.5 degree Fahrenheit night, when i sat up, my daughter
noticed my face was all red, rash crawled down my neck
settled on my torso, then proceeded down my arms and legs
i scratched a spot on my back, blood pooled under the skin
in too-heavy-bag carrying streaks, but i had made it, i was alive

11 days later i finished Salvato, again we had sushi, but for dinner
this time, and in ABQ, not CO, a benefit of daylight savings time
is an extra hour of study! which i did with Starbucks and a blueberry
muffin--brain food! two-hundred-ten minutes flew buy, filling circles with a
a small well used number 2 pencil snatched from my son's school box

the past two weeks has been spent waiting for and receiving results
results of samples taking in October, brain and blood, processed
blood came back positive for Rickettsia rickettsii, brain performance
samples have not come back as of yet, i called last week, but they said
please wait at least four weeks for test results....

360 days until the Shiprock Fair
by t. zoEy benally

this year's Shiprock fair adventures are finally complete
people from here--Shiprock, people from other places
--Chinle, Window Rock, Crownpoint, Round Rock,
Gallup, Colorado, and other place names i didn't read
have littered US491 with smashed aluminum cans,
diapers uncurled along sidewalks for pedestrian viewing,
crumpled religious propaganda, smashed styrofoam vats
discarded corn wrap, aka, husks, discarded clues leading to
villainous burrito vendors peddling out-of-temperature goods

at 7AM the carnies and fair board still clenched our town
just below the waist, with two hands, having squeezed
and shaken, as many coins from our pockets, in exchange
for dirt and grey water mud, heel slides, footprint smears
i just hope no one fell into carnie bath-water, money grime
washed from hands shiny, nails caked with greasy dirt
they still held on, unwilling to let go, trying to keep the sun
from rising, they left flood lights blaring, pointed at
the City Market parking lot exit, interrogating drivers

rides were folded into semi-trailer shapes, light bulbed curves,
familiar arcs, betraying the amusement ride identities
copper grounding rods pulled out with grey-yellow dust puffs
brake lights, blinker lines strung to trucks, skinny men
accustomed to a quarter-inch filth layer crawl behind wheels
focus eyes on the gate, then highway, i didn't watch to see
if they turned left or right, didn't care really, i was just happy
to see the so called City of Fun leave, our town liberated
from a noxious parasite--sucking assets--for another 360 days

only weeks until the fair
by t. zoEy benally

evanescent khaki clad ground squirrel munches goat head blossoms
backs absorbing southern sun they scrutinize fair board provisions
Cynomys gunnisoni pyrethrin dusted, plague fleas gone

i like to stare at clouds reflected in puddles
by t. zoEy benally

i like to stare at clouds reflected in puddles
sweatshirt grey conglomerations of molecules
gaseous water mirrored by liquid water
small volume contains soaked enamel skies
recreate summer evenings pressed to the ground
two small eyes trained on the atmosphere arc
layers of gases, gossamer fabrics, angled filters
polarized gas lenses, cushioning us from cold
black exhales, vacuum breathed from god lungs

water saturated dirt melts away, now clean pebbles
granite chips, brightened from matte dust, fade to
flaming sun sunk red, duck neck teals, honey brown
precious jewels that vanish with evaporating liquid
mica glitter, embedded in dried magma, spewed
from some ancient volcano, hurled into smoke
not clouds, acrid airborne particulate choke, violently
grab oxygen, bound up in SOx & NOx with duct tape
winds thick with earth belches, bloated sulfur farts

i take this monsoon opportunity to look without
fear of offending rain deities, stop drops from falling
hydrogen and oxygens, seized, held tight
electric charges, clamor through atomic tunnels
empty metal desk raked across cattle guards by
burly men, dressed in silver lining gore-tex
hollow rez rockets driven too fast across washboard
roads, fine dust swirls up, slinky curls fully extended
drizzle down 8 meters per second, fill vinyl crevices

i watch for rainbow, ribbons unfurl from hazy planet edges
colorful lightwaves bounced off glass pools--trampolines
cupped asphalt, slight defect, cradles moisture dimensions
ROY-G-BIV somersault, cartwheel, flip end over end
multitudes of quark flavors sprinkle down--invisible
world miserably unaware of the shift in potential energy
riotous swings, tensions suspended on charges
the pools give my neck, shoulders rest, and allow me
to stare at clouds reflected in puddles without tripping

daddy long legs prevent baths
by t. zoEy benally

baby developed a slight fear of spiders, then
spiders decided that the shower is a stellar
bug trapping environment, web central, and
as a result, baby developed a slightly funky
scent, slightly sticky bed head-do, and a massive
reluctance, resistance to taking baths, cleanliness

i bought a book, beautiful art, featuring
Little Miss Spider, yellow and black
a book that concludes with Miss Spider
finding a mother in green Betty beetle
in one day read four times four people
baby perched on laps, read to sixteen times

last night was the test, cultural sensitivity
of baby towards little spiders, miss or mister
everywhere, we walked into the bathroom
baby started saying, "i don't like spiders..."
"you don't like Miss Spider? remember,
she only wanted a mother?"

baby contemplated that idea in her lovely brain
that these spiders meant her no harm, only
wished to cuddle and snuggle with other exoskeleton
creatures, arachnids or insects, which ever
loved the spider best, to further illustrate, i picked up
a large daddy long leg, carried away, unharmed

baby was enthusiastically relieved, no longer
worried about spiders stalking her, Psycho style
in the shower, eight legs lurking behind soap,
shampoo, compound eyes watching, plotting
baby splashed joyfully, swirled bubbles in the tub
baby smelled wonderful, hair clean, fluffy
pretty baby in clean pajamas, spiders left to hunt

today i watched a woman unhinge her jaw
stuff a donut in and chew, rhythmic mastication
i wondered if the donut was good, quality
or old and crusty, only the surface beautiful
she chewed, pastry cud, eyes pasted to the telly
images paint rolled on of the devistation
in New Orleans, bodies floating in water
eyelids low, fleshy cheeks moving with her jaw
she observed houses surrounded by muddy water

a guy walked in as i was reading an old Newsweek
i could see his Adidas tennis shoes and Puma track jacket
in my peripheral vision as i read about London subway
naked bloddy bodies being stepped over by fleeing people
he stared with the woman at the television, his mouth
slightly ajar, breathing air in and out
probably drying out his lips, tongue, breath
she continued chewing, lifted her left leg
and placed it over her right, shifted onto her right
butt cheek, took another bite of possibly sinewy sweet

today i listened to christian rock disguised as punk
the guy bobbed his head like a rocker, i'm sure
he wished he could turn up the volume, jam
but i was there, so now i wonder what's the criteria
for christian music? is there a board that decides
what becomes eligible for play on these stations?
i wonder who's idea it was first--to incorporate
the rock and pop formulas into church music?

today i sit in an air conditioned room, jacket on
tapping plastic keys, electricity gobbed by this monitor
later i will walk down sidewalks scratched from earth's surface
ground gaia innards chew by metal teeth, never swallowed
while mud dries, mold grows, skin cells grow and finally
push hard scabs off mended wounds, fall for ants to find
i will think about old leaders, that have finally grown up
and wish to go back so they can have that moment
not chew that donut, and really try to save the world.

one word: ceremony
by t. zoEy benally

days filled with sandy food, sleepy relatives
smoke rubbed against roast mutton
spiraled hours poured out of aluminum shasta cans
carbonated water fills layered footprints, attracts ants
who listen respectfully to prayers while waiting
for sugar to crystallize, crust around dirt cubes
hours where you just had to be there...