My imagination is always better than reality
by t. zoey benally

My imagination is always better than reality
(Alone) with the door mostly shut
Listening to deepened AC hum kicked started out of fan
Five flights down, hydraulic release
Hiss and blows clean asphalt circles
Ant rocks and raised dust tumble towards diameter fringes
Mr. Coffee carefully repackaged, encased in cardboard
Makes its way--pardon me, excuse me, oOo--sorry about that!
Onto the bus and up into over head storage

This was NOT what I imagined

Walk across unlit tile floors, arm un-kinks, fingers unfurl & feel the switch to flip
Earth friendly tubes crackle, hum and stutter, finally release a white yell
That ricochets off the stainless steel faucet fixture
And aches my eyes
I lift the handle and allow pressure generated miles away
Devised by civil engineers, scratched to existence, H graphite on grid paper
Oblivious that I (alone) would be thirsty (alone) in this apartment (alone)
On this particular Friday (alone), many years from whence
They conjured waterline diagrams and schematics
Carefully considered and chose PVC pipe, more carefully picked than China patterns
To deliver these 16 ozs of chlorinated water
Which I will drink (alone)

This is NOT what I imagined

I kick off my shoes, unbutton my pants, crawl out of my shirt
Shimmy into flannel pajama bottoms and worn t-shirt
Too transparent to wear in public
Slide between cold cream sheets
Serenaded by bits of metal hooked together in rectangles and smaller squares
Interspersed with springs, discordant squeaks
Unintended instrument, which will never lullaby me to sleep
I play the game—BE STILL
Fortunately, simply breathing does not set off
the metallic dissonance, creaking cacophony

This is NOT what I imagined