what i have done...
by t. zoEy benally

i distinctly remember the feeling of riding the hinge
the sick, but exhilarating roll of steel around steel, degrees
angle change, but was the door opening or closing? 0 to 180 or reverse?
i have no clue, only mixed dread, sadness in my throat.....

thousands of scenarios i have played since that moment
millions of possible futures i imagined, troubleshot
but i am not psychic, i do not predict or know THE future
only use data collected to develop ideas, hunches, notice trends

but you ask, if i had a do-over would i still go in this direction? the answer
undeniably yes--i would allow a glimpse of a small fragment of my world
a direct taste of the un-homogenized stream, icy winds of my reality felt
no hesitation, plow through decades of underbrush, clear this new trail

i am a nobody that never imagined that there would be a somebody
that would even understand this sliver, wedge of me sliced off
but what causes tears to condense, like shower steam on mirrors
is one particular maybe, the maybe of freaks, super-heros--not being understood

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